ISLAMIC WOMAN IN FAMILY AND SOCIETY

Discussing Muslim women in family and society is interesting because in Islam the role of women, both in the family as well as in the society is very important.
In Islam, we cannot discuss women without paying attention to men at all. Because man and women as servant of God (‘abid) and as God’s representative (khali>fa) on the earth, are equal. There is no superiority of one over the other.
Islam emphasizes harmony in family, equality and partnership between husband and wife. No one dominated. However, if there is disharmony, domination of violence against one’s right, Islam provides solutions for the oppressed one. The husband has the right to divorce, which has to be used correctly. The wife can have khulu’ (divorce with compensation), or fasakh (request to the judge to end the marriage), or syiqoq (a serious conflict between husband and wife).
Islam describes family partnership as complementary, which means that there is mutual dependence and mutual support from both husband and wife. Men are responsible for the mean of the family, women may help voluntarily. Each of the husband and the wife is the family head in the position suitable for their kodrah (innate or inborn characters).
The characters which Allah has determined for every single thing. Men and women have been blessed with enough potential and capabilities to bear responsibilities and to enable these two sexes to carry out general and specific activities.
Allah has created the biological differences between men and women in order to carry out different functions. The term which is used here, is distinction not discrimination. In the family, woman should not be burdened economically. However, there are different interpretation about verse related to women’s activities outside the house. But it can be shortly formulated that women have the right to work, as long as they need to work or the work need them.
In emergency condition, women even have to work to support the family. But in Islam, a women always has someone who supports her and responsible for her, e.q. brother, father, husband, etc. Perhaps women’s activities outside the house should be emphasized on their social rather than economic roles. Hence, women can have more strategic position and develop themselves better.
The prophet Muh}ammad says :


“Be careful about women (in the matter of woman). Because they are under your responsibility (men). You chose them as wife based on the amanat of Alla>h (God’s responsibility) and you may possess them (hala>l for you) based on the God’s words”
The husband’s permission for the wife to go out of the house should be Ijma>li (general). It is more cultural obligation; the husband or the other members of the family also notify each other when they go out of the house. If the husband’s permission is considered as legally formal, it is at the operational or technical level, not fundamental.
In the family, men and women’s good relationship is based on Ma’ru>f i.e. good and decent ways according to acceptable norms of a society, as long as not contradictory to Islamic teachings. So the forms of husband and wife’s equal partnership are flexible in line with acceptable practice in the society.
The prophet Muh}ammad (peace be upon him), is a model, including in his attitude to his wives, to follow. He placed his wives as partners in the struggle not as objects. His wives had positive roles in supporting his struggle. His wives were involve in the decision making process. The prophet’s merciful love to women was indeed high.
The Qur’a>n says :


“And of His (lord) signs in this : He created for you help-meets from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lord herein indeed are potents for folk who reflect”.
In other verses Qur’a>n recites :


In Islam, there are rights and obligations between wife and husband as stated in the Qur’a>n. Husband should behave nice things to his wife and vice versa.
As a social being, women are allowed to associated with the society; they may work to help the poor, educate and teach the stupid. In the case of the prophet’s wives i.e. Siti Khadidjah who supported the struggle of the prophet Muh}ammad with her wealth, or in the military sector like Siti Aisyah who became a commander.
The key is women’s ability to manage the time in implementing the roles and remember their kodrah and status as muslim women. However busy she is, a woman should still spare time for her family, quantitatively the time spent may be little but attention should be high (qualitatively).
Muslim women in Indonesia have a wide opportunity in line with Islam. Women like a men, have the right to be active in politics in the framework of amar ma’ru>f nahi munkar (enjoying what is just and forbidding what is wrong). Like in Islam , The Nation State Guidelines (GBHN) 1993 discusses the rights, the obligations and the opportunities of women which are identical to men. It also discussed how to empower the role of women as “mitra sejajar” to the men in the development; healthy family; educated children, adolescent and youth to make up a nation building completely i,e. physically and spiritually, etc.
The Prophet Muh}ammad says :


“The best person among yourselves in he who takes good care of his wife, and I myself take good care of my wives (the best among you). He who respects women is respectful person and He who doesn’t, would be a person who doesn’t understand good behaviour”.
The prophet Muh}ammad (peace be upon him) also says that :


“The best women is when you (husband) look into her, she makes you happy, when you order her (to good things) she obeys, when you travel (away from home), she takes good care of your belongings as well as herself”.
The five basics of human rights according to fiqh (Islamic Law) which are shared by men and women equally are as followed :
1. Rights for physical safety.
2. Rights for safety of faith.
3. Rights for safety of the family / purity of offsprings.
4. Rights for personal property.
5. Rights for safety at work.
Verses or Islamic teachings which restrain women should be seen from the context in which they were revealed. The present condition is no longer the same as the time when they were revealed 14 centuries ago.
Awareness raising of women’s status and rights should be together to both men and women. Many men cannot respect women because of ignorance, prestige or egoism.
Two things at least should be done :
1. Increase women’s knowledge of their rights and responsibilities and;
2. Increase men and women’s quality.
Lack of knowledge causes narrow mindedness.


Referrences :
1. Reinterpreting Islamic Teaching on Women : Drs. Masdar F. Mas’udi.
2. Islam and Women’s Rights : K.H. Abdurrahman Wahid.
3. Woman’s Kodrah vs Cultural Norm : DR. Quraisy Shihab.
4. The advancement of Woman’s Role : K.H. A. Wahid Zaini.
5. Woman’s Status and Leadership : K.H. Ali Yafie.

Montreal, July 3rd, 1997